Divorcing couples often struggle to see eye-to-eye. However, some divorce cases are especially wrought with conflict. If this describes your situation, you may be worried about how you and your soon-to-be-ex will handle child custody issues. Some divorced parents are able to continue a close relationship and even attend holidays and vacations together, this is nearly impossible in a high-conflict divorce. One option some parents find useful is a method called “parallel parenting.” In a parallel parenting scenario, each parent handles parenting obligations with little input from the other parent. Communication between the parents is limited and each parent’s independence is prioritized over collaboration.

Parallel Parenting Minimizes Contact Between the Parents

Multiple studies show that parental conflict has a major impact on kids. This is true even if the parents are divorced and living separately. If you are in a high-conflict divorce or soon will be, parallel parenting may be the best way to minimize hostility between you and the other parent. In a parallel parenting situation, parents rarely communicate with each other. When they do communicate, they do so through text messages or email.

A Strong Parenting Plan is Key

Parallel parenting only works when both parents understand their rights and obligations. This means that you will need to have a comprehensive parenting plan involving a detailed parenting time schedule. Remember to include provisions describing how you will handle holidays, school vacations, birthdays, and other special occasions. Include exhaustive information about how and when you can change the parenting time schedule or allocation of parental responsibilities.   

A criminal record can make it more difficult to get a job, rent an apartment, and legally own firearms. It can also affect your chances of getting custody of your children. Family law judges consider the children’s best interests in custody cases and may be reluctant to award custody to a parent with a criminal history. However, having a criminal record does not automatically mean that you cannot be awarded parenting time with your children. 

How a Criminal Record Can Jeopardize Your Child Custody Case

If you have a criminal record and are in the middle of a child custody dispute, you may worry that your past will negatively influence the outcome of the case. Although it may be more challenging to gain the parental responsibilities and parenting time outcome you are hoping for, it is not impossible. A judge will consider several factors regarding your criminal history before coming to a decision.

Non-violent criminal convictions are less likely to affect the allocation of parental responsibilities and parenting time than convictions involving assault, battery, or abuse. Family court judges also look at how old your criminal conviction is. If you, for instance, got convicted of an offense over a decade ago and have not gotten in trouble with the law since then, the judge is less likely to use this information when deciding custody. The frequency of your offenses may also affect the outcome of your case. If you are a repeat offender, the judge may question your judgment and question whether you can provide a stable environment for your children.

According to Illinois law, if a child’s parents are married at the time of birth, the mother’s spouse will be presumed to be the child’s legal parent. However, there are many situations where a child’s parents may be unmarried, and in these cases, paternity will need to be legally established before a man will be recognized as the child’s legal father. This can often be done fairly easily, but some cases may involve complex legal issues, and either or both parents may need to work with a family law attorney to ensure that their rights and their child’s best interests will be protected.

Benefits of Paternity for Children and Parents

If a child’s parents are unmarried, but they agree that a man is the child’s biological father, the parents can fill out and sign a form known as a Voluntary Acknowledgment of Paternity (VAP). This form can usually be obtained from the hospital where a child was born, but it may also be available at a county clerk’s office or the Illinois Department of Human Services, and a VAP can be completed and signed at any time during the child’s life.

If either parent is uncertain about the identity of the child’s biological father, other procedures may be used to confirm the genetic relationship between a parent and child and legally establish paternity. Parents may agree to work with the Department of Child Support Services (DCSS) to conduct genetic testing, or either parent may file a petition in family court to establish paternity. During court proceedings, DNA testing will usually be ordered, and once the identity of the child’s biological father is confirmed, an order of paternity will be issued.

Divorce is challenging regardless of the circumstances; however, a divorce involving children often comes with additional difficulties. If you are a parent who is thinking about filing for divorce, you probably have questions and concerns about child-related issues. In Illinois, divorcing parents are asked to create a “parenting plan” that outlines how they will divide parenting tasks and responsibilities. If the parents cannot agree on the terms of their parenting plan, the court will issue a decision for the parents that is in the best interest of the child.

Allocating Parental Responsibilities

Illinois law no longer uses terms like “child custody,” “visitation,” or “sole custody.” Instead, child custody is separated into two components: parental responsibilities and parenting time. Parental responsibilities describe a parent’s decision-making authority. Parents have the option to share decision-making authority as they see fit. For example, one parent may be in charge of education-related decisions while the other parent handles healthcare. The parents may also decide that one parent will be solely responsible for all of the major decisions about the child’s upbringing.

Family structures have changed drastically over the last several years – so has divorce. It used to be that one parent would keep the family home and the other would relocate, or the couple would sell the family home and then both would relocate. Now there are birdnesting arrangements, where the children keep the home and the parents both rotate in and out to care for them. How does this arrangement work, and is it right for your family? The following may help you decide.

Birdnesting Basics

Birdnesting is not a traditional parenting plan arrangement, but it is a growing trend. Much of its popularity can be attributed to the changes in family structure; working parents may find it easier to move in and out of the home instead of moving the children around. However, the real root of this trend is based on what parents feel to be the best interests of their children.